Get yourself a free iPad - go work for Parcelforce

As a rampant gadget-o-phile, I've been like Pavlov's dog in a bell tower this week, eagerly awaiting the arrival of my new iPad. (a friend in the US kindly bought it and mailed it over)

So imagine my reaction when, on arriving at the Parcelforce depot this morning, I found that the box had been ripped open and my iPad had been stolen. Before I'd even laid eyes on it.

For two weeks I've been tracking my 'magical revolutionary' booty; it's travelled through China, Hong Kong, Alaska, Philadelphia and New York, fully intact, diligently passed from person to person. Then it arrives in England and within a day somebody thinks they can help themselves to it. How depressing.

I'd like to put in a word for Parcelforce about how well they handled the situation. Unfortunately I can't because they were nothing short of a disgrace. No apology, a shambolic tracking process, a manager who acted as though I was an inconvenience and actually went as far as to point out that "technically it wasn't mine" yet because I hadn't signed for it! For his encore, I believe he sets fire to the remains of the parcel while a grotesque chorus of laughing baggage handlers dance around the flames.

What's particularly galling is that they won't give me any further details on the 'internal investigation' they've launched. So I'll never know whether the thief was caught or whether somebody else will go through all this ball-ache. As the manager happily pointed out, it's the sender who has to claim for the 'lost' parcel. (I implored him to stop referring to it as lost - we could perhaps hazard an educated guess at 'stolen'.) As the sender lives in America, I doubt he's going to be able to do much in terms of leaning on Parcelforce to account for themselves.

So, as for getting my hands on an iPad, it looks like I'm back to queuing up with all the other punters at the Apple store in the morning. Or I could always apply for a job as a parcel handler.